When the heart start to talk...

This week is really tearing me up! With the sweat, emotional begin. Next day, when i just started to feel the relieved it strikes me back. Deeply im sad and pretending not to be. No one should ever know the pain i felt inside. Just sometimes i need to tell someone what im going through. But it's not enough. Personal stuff is personal. And for this matter i only can tell certain people of a certain story. Im sorry but that is the way it is.

Thank you for all people that cheering me up and give me support and strength for what im going through even they didn't realizes what they have been doing-which keep me laughing. Yes, it's a deeply emotional week but everyday there will be somethings i could smile of and push it aside for a while.

They can blame me or even hated me. I deserved it. Just keep doing it as much as you want. I don't care anymore. You're not the victims of the story. Your words doesn't count! I will find my own way to settle this on. And for the people that truly involved, im sorry. I really not meant it to happen. Im full of guilt. Erggghhh..it's a stressful feeling that keep attaching me until we settles everything that needed.

For this, once again i keep apologize to what happened. I can take it. Am truly sorry. I cant return the time back. Is already happen. Am truly deeply sorry. I cant give back what you have gave up for. Hope you could do well as i am not here.

Last, for the background people who keep murmuring about me, i apologize for what i did to your friend. I understand whatever things you would like to do to me. I accepted.


It's only a piece of heart talking

t.e.r.h.a.r.u

28 September 2011 pada 1815 berjujuranlah air mata ini meleleh. Lemah jugak jiwa aq ni kan..hee bukan apa...atas apa yang berlaku semalam, aq sangat sangat sangat terharu. Terima kasih semua yang terlibat.

1800. Dah set waktu tu untuk training kawad untuk persembahan konvo nie. Tapi semalam ntah macam mana aq datang lewat 15 min lepas tu. Nak kata baru habis kelas, kelas last jam 1600. Sempat tido kot. Datang2 je kat tapak tu cam biasa la, training da start. Dalam hati "aishh..buat tak taw la.." Aq pn lari la konon2 tak sengaja datang lambat. (Berlakon itu perlu taw). Tiba-tiba sampai je kat tempat tu aq dengar "....happy besday to u...fatimah.." hee..terharunya!!!! and suddenly aq sedar aq dah meleleh da..Maluuuuunnnnyyyee... Tak pe la..yang penting aq happy..

23 September 2011. Dah janji nak datang BBQ kat rumah geng. Janji kul 2000 aq datang tapi last2 datang nak 2030. Aisshh..asik datang lambat je aq nie. punya sedap makan2 tiba2 adala 2 orang masuk rumah. (owh lupe nak bagitaw, bbQ kat luar rumah). Dorang kua je da bawak kek. Wuaaa!!! awalnya besday aq sambut. huhu. eyh..kek die gune fresh cream taw..SEDAP wokeyh!! sumenye melantak sampai abes. Even butang seluar dah nak tercabut, tapi demi kek yang sedap tu..kami sumbat jugak. bbQ yang paling sedap is ayam bakar die..sangat sangat sangat sedap. law ikut hati nak je abeskan semua. tapi yelah, perot dijadikan kecik. Tak ape, len kali boleh buat lagi. nyum3..teliur wokeyh..hee

sayang kat korang sume: zaty,cap,pika,geng palap umt intake 3. <3 u guys!

Who owns my heart

That is really really my song!!! Thanx to Miley Cyrus who sang it very very well plus with the lyricist. I just never get bored by listening to it for thousands time for once. It just great!!
Who Owns My Heart lyrics R-O-C-K Mafia Creation shows me what to do I'm dancing on the floor with you And when you touch my hand I go crazy Yeah The music tells me what to feel I like you now, but is it real? By the time we say goodnight I'll know if this is right And I feel you Comin through my veins Am I into you? Or is the music to blame? [Chorus:] Who owns my heart? Is it love? Or is it art? Cause the way you got your body movin's Got me confused I can't tell if it's the beat or sparks (Oh) Who owns my heart? Is it love? Or is it art? Y-Y-Y-You know I wanna believe That we're a masterpiece But sometimes it's hard to tell in the dark Who owns my heart? The room is full but all I see is The way your eyes just blaze through me Like fire in the dark We're like living art And it hits me Like a tidal wave Are you feelin me? Or is the music to blame? [Chorus] So come on baby Keep provokin' me Keep on ropin' me Like a rodeo Baby pull me close Come on here we go Here we go Here we go And it hits me Like a tidal wave Are you feelin me? Or is the music to blame? [Chorus] Who owns my heart? Who owns my heart? Heart, heart, heart, heart...

V.O.M.I.T

Vows On Meeting In Time What will you do when you were heading to see a person that you really missed a lot plus with the first 'dating' after 10 years? Happy, Nervous, Anxious, or you just want to vomit the minute you open up a car door? Eeewww! I know. What's on Earth does people do that. But i did. It is soooooo unforgivable! Haha The story here happen when unexpectedly suddenly like tremendously I said yes to meet that person. It's a bit awkward and I just don't know what kind of topics were gonna talk. Besides, we are just talking n facebook-ing each other after that 10th year. Don't you feel it's really MUST NEED to see that person when you know exactly that perhaps only this is the last year were gonna see each other? Next month that person will go back to the where they are-Southampton. Hmm..hearing the adventure stories obviously i felt envy..duhh! Hee~ Thank you for spending your time. You are a really good friend of me. Thank you Thank you so MUCH! We really having fun together.

Special Birthday Wish for Abdul Hafiz

I wanna take diz chance to announce your besday to the readers. U've always b a nice fwen ever since we're in highschool.well actually we only met for only a year, till then we only texting about each other. We not eventually texting pun, kan? sorry for everything that happened in past if I hurt ur feeling. Im not thinking straight. But now im really really glad to see u n finally get to know how's ur life doing.

It's funny when u sdenly telling me exactly the same wat I just said/typed. Like u're a mind reader. Urgh..I membebel!! hee.. Have a happy life in UK!! Owh forgive me for stealing ur pic. (PEACE)

Happy 21st besday dude! U're awesome.. Thx for being my fwen..Don't forget to register ur name in SPR =D

Puas rasa bila dapat lepaskan apa yang dah pergi

salam. lepas lama aq xsanggup nk jmp die..akhirnya aq brani kan diri jugak. die mkin bhgie..elok lah mcm tuh. mmg tu pn wish aq sblm ptuskn sgale hbgn dgn die..dluw pn aq xlah baek mne. tpgruh dgn kwn. tula akibatnya. aq xjd aq. tp smuenya da tlambat. slh kami berdue buatkn smuenye jd mcmni. xpe aq la punca permulaannya. aq pn bosan gak mstuh. lme2 sgt. die pn kte nk kwen lmbt. aq nk cpt. mknenye kami mmg dr awl xde jodoh. itu hny skdr hiburan hidup.

lps lama kami menyepi akhirnye aq decide sje nk tny nk kaba. alhamdulilah smuenye wokeyh. aq ngat aq xmampu. aq mampu upenye siap tgk gmbr tiap romantik moment die..pergh..aq bhgie bila dia bhgie. papepn kami ttp kwn mcm dluw. cume kat cnie aq btul2 nk minx maaf. utk diri aq sdr. aq mengaku ada ketika aq tersosial lbeyh. walau mcm tuh aq ttp thu jg maruah. sosial itu hny sementara. aq tergoda dgn dunia xseberapa. bkn aq sng dipengaruhi. tp aq jz nk rs dunie dowg tuh mcmne. aq xderla smp p tpt mne2 mlm2. aq hny berjalan bwk dri siang hri je. aq msih ank makaya. so there's no way nk p mne2 tnpe hala tujuan memlm bute.

ap yg aq wat dluw mgkin xditerima die. die berdiam dan berfikir. die..ntah..aq xtny dan xnk pn tny ap yg die fikir. biarkan je. yang lepas biar lepas. tp aq tahu die xsuke aq melepak bersama mereka. walau macam tu, kwan ttp kwn. dowglah yg ajar erti kwn sbnr. xde kepuraan dan penuh kesetiaan. ms skola dlu, bkn xder yg kwn sbnr, tp ssh nk crik. msing2 ade niat. yela..target bg budak howt nk crik gosip. pe jee yg budak howt xtaw gosip terkini. kn3?? kdg2 walau kwn ttp kne simpan rahsia tu btul2. jgn tslh bg. sdikit sumber blh mengembangkan sgalenye. dan payah bile ade cikgu pn nk msuk cmpur.

kwn biarlah ramai. biarlah kt sedar spe didunia nie. yg baik kt ambek. yg jht kt tnggalkan. aq ttp kwn sume. tp aq tahu jarak mne tiap hubungan sbgai seorang kwn. dan aq pljri sumenyer. dan aq mengerti sebab die pergi. maafkan aq xdpt jdik yg terbaik. aq cbe utk tdk memberikn segalanya. jiwa dan hati penah diremukkan oleh sang die yg gila. mungkin skunk die dah berubah. dan awk..jd titian sy utk bergerak maju ke hdpn kluar dr kepompong takutkan dan bencikan sume laki. maafkan sy disaat sy temui keberanian sy bergaul dgn bermcm prgai pulak. sowie yea..

sy berusaha utk berubah. walau jujurnya sy dah bosan dgn perhubungan yg lama secara mendatar..yela..awk spm then sy plak spm tp sy nk awak tahu sy terima kasih dekat awk krn pernah terima saya. dan perpisahan kt buatkan sy lebih bljr utk menerima dan menyayangi psgn kt. dan sy pn nk awk tahu sy pn bhgie skrg. so kt fair n square la kan..hee~

awak jg dri awak baik2. kalo nk kawen jgn lupe ajk taw. tp asenye ckoplah hny skdr disini. kt xmgkin bertemu lg. sy pn da nk pndh. dan asenye itu yang terbaik. haha ckp da wokeyh tp last2 xbjmpe lg baek..pelik!!bak kate die..ckp cam k****g..ngee~ sy terindu awak dan sy hny nk mnguji ketahanan hati sy je sbnrnyer. btulla..sy dah move on pn..ucap terima kaseh kat org yg sy syg la..die yg terbaik.. ^_^

our hapie day

Hehe..lawak je..pas abes kls 3p for the day ktowg twus smgt nk p pntai.ngt nk mam mkck mihun sup tu..tp ttp la..xpe la yg pntg kmi gmbire..hee.. **comel la tgk pic sy aq edit ni**

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tula yg ktowg mkn..hee~

Pesanan untuk Sang Gorilla

die da blik dr kem pastuh esook lak die nk btolak blik ke kedah..ouchh!!windu ku menusuk..wuaa!!syg..sy syg kamuh..

ade 1adegen xdisengajekan. tgh demam jd emosional xbpe nk btoi..kne lak ttbe tslh phm n i cried. xtaw la sbb ap sbnrnye..it just nk nanges je..yela..dala demam..pastuh jaoh ngn family pastuh..well..i just want his attention..kawan lak sonok dok umah n im woking here..sedeyh =(

sbb adegan tuh..malu lak ngn dak2 palap. sbb tekantoi dpn dowg..sowie syg..sy mara sbb xgtaw citer sbnr.

tp syg..walau pape pon sy nk minx maaf. sy syg awk dan sy windu awk. awk jg dri awk baek2 taw..jgn nakal2..baby kish kat awk manyak2..hee~

ayoo..piot ase lapa lak

YA! aku seorang pendendam dan menyimpan dendam yg sgt lama

tu gmbr kwn aq..die skunk kat wisconsin bek engineering pe ntah..xkesahla..yg pntg die bhg..aq pn apiyh..tp..deep inside i wanna be like her n my other fwends. not only their outfit is pretty cool but also the experienced she have is much more national world wide pny..not like a person like me yg xpnh p ngra eropah tuh..yes..i am jeles!!

since i was a kid, a place ive always dream about is to go to new zealand. The grass n the lembu bagai smue really facinating..well..that's wat i felt. ive always dream of everytime i woke up..there is a fresh milk in front of my door house. a dozen of milk glass bottle. n then p lari sne cnie with on the green fresh grass with my lover..ala2 boliwud gituh..

heh..i dont noe if the situation there is the same as wat i felt. but that is wat i saw in the telivisen..hee~ **byk brangan upenye aq..**

pluang study kat sne xdpt..law dpt pn mst aq home sick gyle..msuk mtrix tuh pn nk gk tiap mgu blik..walau dkat xku pedulik pe ntah agy yg jauh..but skunk i think im ready for living miles distance away from home switt home. n i guess its never been too late n im living with that believe.

wish all of u and also me included to have ur dream come true..happy for ur life living guys.. =D)

sukanun part 2 - taufan di umt

Mlm perasmian sukanun bermula dgn pnuh meriah.persembahan pembukaan berlangsung selama 30 minit. Kemudian diteruskan dengan ucapan drp pihak vvip. Xlame lps tuh..ujan dtg dgn tbe2. Ujan tu tsgt la lbt..mcm ade org yg curahkan air dlm baldi yg besa. Angin betiup lak mcm pra-taufan je ase..skrin,kemah dan sgale mende kat kompleks sukan tpkse mengerah org rmai nk kasik stand.

Owh..nsebla waktu tuh aq da cbot nk mkn mcd..*nyum* aq bwk payung tp lki aq yg tlg bwkkn..yela..org skit ne lyn dgn pnuh manje..kihkih.. ;-) tp tgk jela gmbr tuh..payung aq pn jd cn layang2 da..sabo jela..nseb pyung murah..law xwat naye je..ayoo..

Cmni la keadaan kat ganu.bile panas, panas sgt. Bile sejuk, sejuk sgt..mne xdak2 cnie slalu dmm..aigoo.. Ini membuktikan spe nk duk ganu lme2 memelukan pakaian yg byk jnis kain..almari pn knela sediakan yg bsr ea..

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Kebahagiaan. Part I

ngee ngoo..huhu hoho..*sewel sebentar*

hmm..nk luahkan perasaan nie..tp xtaw nk ckp camne..wokeyh2..meyh becerite yea..sy sowg tetinggal kat U (xder sowg pn..ade je geng dicinie) sbb ader aktiviti U. kwn rapat & baik sy merangkap bakal ketua kga sy lak p blik kg n arini die bru nk blik cnie blik..mlm menjelma..die ajk mkn mlm bersama...mkaya die..huk huk..(geron ase)..

mkn dan ckp dan mkn dan ckp..abes pn..blik..yea..haha..hati??wah!!sonok!!alhamdulilah..smuenyer bejalan lancar..mkaya die wokeyh..i.a blh msuk dgn maju..pndgn mrk kat aq??hmm..berdoa mereka menerima dgn hti terbuka..amin..

b4 blik..mrk ajk sarap same2..tp..ade hal lain lak..kwn ajk tlg antakan dowg kat stesen bus..nk blik..(sonoknye balik..)so..xpstla..kalo smpt aq p la mkn sarap skali..law x..len kli jmp lg..doakan jodoh ku dgn die diterima dgn pnuh berkat..dan doakan jodohku cepat (xsabar timang anak..hee)

p/s : hmm..xlupe doa kat pensyarah bg bukak ati trime tiap jwpn yang kami tulis ms xm..aminn..

aku BENCI ko.jgn dkt ngn aq..phmx??

aq p bek test renang..wokeyh fine..xready sgt pn..tp pti suh ambek gk..aq try la..

sume wokeyh..tp bile dr rng nk ke float pnfsn aq ntah kemane..but still leyh hold on..

then ktowg kene selam p bek overall..sblm tuh pn aq da nk spruh mati..blum sprh..bru suku..huhu

aderla leading nie..aq xknl..dr gaye nk tlg aq..yg die wat die lg wat aq tglm..die tolak aq ngn tgn cam gajah die tuh + badan kotak die..pergh..siot ahh ko..aq da dpt da pn overall tuh ko taw x..da on da way nk naek bek udare siap..tebantut penafasan aq..ngok nye ase..

cre abek ujian rng nie sng je..asal jgn ke tebing..then bru kre out..

smbg citenyer..aq da halp mampos..tp lg bape kuak je da nk abes..aq nk fighto..

tp..si leading bdn petak tuh dgn baek ati tolak aq ke tebing..jahanam ko!!tolak 2 kali kowt..nseb dlm air..law xmst sakit gyle..

tp die pndai..org rmai xperasan..mte tetumpu kat aq..bkn die..dr ats..die npk cm nk jg aq..tp..tgn gajah die tolak kaki aq ke tebing..

wahai manusia..bdn aq lg kecik law dbndgkn ngn ko..aq sdr kemampuan aq xsekuat ko..tp..hrpn..jgn la telalu mjg kami sgt smp senang hati tesedak sikit je nk tolak ke tebing..ko mmg siot la law cmtuh..bulcit ko taw..??bulcit..huh!!

sume yg tgk sume xsgke yg aq leyh gv up cam tuh..tp slh..hati aq xrela..sungguh xrela..yg menyentuh tebing bdn blkg aq..bkn tgn ku yg nk mencapai give up..

detik bdn blkg cecah je tebing..aq tekedu..aq nk tny je die.."nape tolak aq??nape tolong aq camtuh??"..

best part member die pn tgor kowt leading tuh..die siap ckp lg.."biakan je bdk tuh spruh mati..die msh ader usehe nk twuskan"..SEEEEE!!!! how dumb for him not noticed that!! WTF..

org ckp ko bhgn gaji..so wat cre gaji..jgn smgt nk slmtkn org yg xpelu nk dslmtkn dgn cre ko..melenkan ko PTI..mmg org yg btgjwb sal mende2 fitness nie..sdgkn PTI pn tgk rilekx je..huh!!

hmm..bhs aq kasar..aq minx maaf..aq trase dan BENCI sgt dgn cre mcmtuh..tolak2 org bg disqualified dr test..pikir la sdr eyh..xkn org mara law mende tuh btul..myb..ko ade sbb sdr..still..aq xkn benarkan ko dekat ngn aq..

jdkan iktibar b4 msuk hall exam..siot je..

haha..exam xabes agy..frust sbb xdpt siap satu soalan nie..sikit nyer code program tp aq wat yg pnjg lebar..dah xingat..nk wat gane..tawakal je la..hope die dpt time..die sgt tegas k..huh..ketas die wat org nk stay smp 2,3,4 pg tp aq msuk leyh lak gelak2..adoi~

alkisahnyer gini..dah ader slip..tgkla kan meje mane nk duk..btul da tindakan tuh..msuk dewan pny compiden..tp still xjmp sit aq..ayayai..panik gk arr..tp ntah la..lg panik paper kowt..anyway..pny la wat aksesais peloh2 ketiak crik sit..da jmp tp bdk kos lain..aq pnt aq pn duduk la..

dlm dwn siap leyh ckp agy tuh ngn member sblh..skali aq tedetik nk tgk blik slip..aii..salah sit upenyer aq tgk..tuh sit utk database..yg aq nk duk nie sit oop..siot je..nseb exam xsetat agy..haha..len kali pasnie aq nk highlight la awl2..subjek ape dgn wane ape..xdela tetuka cam td..cis..!!

xpsl2 aq dok gelak je jwb exam..wokeyhla..ilg skit stress..ngee..pagi owh pagi ku..

hanya sekeping cebisan nota

baru2 nie aq tejumpe satu nota..die tekoyak sikit la tapinya..ermm..jmpot la bce..asenye nota nie tuju kat sesiape yg bekenaan kot..

aq da bce..tp aq xphm..aigoo..xpela..spe yg fhm..fhmlah..spe yg x..wat xtaw sudah..huhu =p

Hello Ghost!

okeyh..ngh pagi2 bute leyh lyn tgk movie..how cool's is that..yipee~
aii..the prob is..i on the final exam..still can lyn mende xmsuk xm..great!!superb of me..
the great thing is i watch it wif full emotions!!im big girl with a big tears wokeyh..cant doubt that..

this story gives a lot of values in our daily life on how important family does to u..well..appreciate what u have before all of them gone without notice. remember..family will always on ur side no matter what happen..

**gosh..im missing my family..i need ur hug mummy**

thx to them.. =D

wokeyh..ive edy presented..this is what we have it done so far..still..truly i felt a bit depressed other than hapy n relived..well thx to ur group member..all of them have done their job pretty well..but hey..still not hapy cause it doesnt happen exactly of what we plan..suddenly it appears faulty errors in many places..well its my fault thou as im the one who integrate everything but i didnt notice what is wrong..blame on me for the mistakes..im deeply sorry.

well then..what happen is already happened..so my target after this is to study on my own how to generate the graph and the uplaod..i noe it would be tremendously fab if i got it done..so..well done to our group..thx a lot..we'll c back again for the DB assignment wokeyh..ngee~

IS (im sorry)

** this is really pointed to the one who own's my heart **

dear..im sorry..
if i am a trouble maker
and you have to keep advising me to be good all the time but still i cant do it..
that's because all im asking is your attention..

dear..im sorry..
if i keep continue merajuk
and you have to keep pujuk memujuk all the time and sometimes until you lost..
that's because i really like when you give your attention to me 150%..

dear..im sorry..
if i am a big girl with a big tears
and you will be speechless don't no what to think..
that's because it's really hurts when we got into fights..

dear..im sorry..
if i keep asking to eat together with you
and you have to spend your energy walking with me to kedai mamak..
that's because it's really fun having you around by my side..

dear..im sorry..
if i keep texting you all same bored message to take care of yourself
and you have to keep replying my message with 'okeyh'..
that's because i do taking care of you..

and i know..sometimes my ways got you into trouble..im sorry..i really do..
but somehow still i cant help it to be perfectly acting annoyingly to you just to show how i love you..im sorry..

Sungguh Indah

hmm..its been a while im not posting any entry..bz la ktekan..(tang mne pn xsure). anyway..what im trying to say is..ngah dok sedap menggodek profile fb member2 lme..then aq tesenyum sdr..umor pn da mkin meningkat..so obviously we'll trying to find someone special in our life. kn3??..hee~

kebanyakkan kite2 nie berkahwin dgn bkn cinte pertama die..xder jdh..nk wat camne kan..tp tu aq tgk zmn tok nenek kadok luw..but recently, ive noticed something new. most of my fwends is having a first serious relationship in their life!!damn cute seyh!! seyesly aq jeles sbb ive try so many people but it wont work out..n wif them(my fwends that hv this cinte pertama in their life now) it seems so easily work out..maybe my first love is at the middle age of bersuke ria. even me and him(my ex) not even think about marriage yet. duhh..sape suh gatai sgt..kn3..,

i dunno but i really admired of people who have the first relationship ever that actually really serious. their relationship seems so pure and yaa..cinte pertama kan..so its hard to otha people to try menggoyahkan rumahtangge dowg taw..differ from couple that 'pro' about the relationship. they have their own experienced and his/her past relationship may or may not end up pretty good and some how it might actually give a lil impact from the previous experienced he/she have. and yup..i admit..smtimes i do terbawa2 sifat jeles yg agk tgi..daa..i dont wanna miss this guy..ceyh..(pdhal xder pn nk dijeleskan..sje..lalalala~)

so my point is if u do have someone precious in ur life..dont miss the chance coz u r not going to meet the same person and the layanan yg diberikan b4. and dont try so hard to get ur own partner as it will come to u and mostly it just come without noticed. So appreciate what u got babeh!!

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